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lipstick

As the Bingo Balls Turn……….

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A Plumbers Crack……..

 

"When Lance bent down to pick up his bingo ball money clip, Lola notices a plumber’s crack. Lola was certain this cheeky stud muffin had on his bingo thong. She hesitates, as she pulls a cigarette out of her bingo ruby studded case. She taps the cigarette on her knee, drawing attention to her hiked skirt. Lance pulls out his O69 etched lighter. He kneels down next to her and lights her fire. Lola throws back her head and makes smokes rings. She finally speaks...read more"

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  Even with green, purple and blue smudges on her cheek, forehead, nose , mouth, forearms, and right knee, and left breast I found myself even more turned on. I wouldn't care if she had boogers swinging from her nostrils, I had to have her. I am glad she didn't because I get kinda queasy with stuff like that. At intermission I'll just offer...

 

 

LMAO Helwin... hehehe she dabbered all over herself at the thought of Lance.. she caght a case of GooGoo Eyes!!

 

Ohhh my my my... that sexy sexy plumbers crack.. i wonder if Lola thought Lance could come fix her plumbing anytime.. let me read this here!!!

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When Lance noticed Lola licking that double scoop, his 069 lighter sketchin' went to "OOOOOOOH Lawdy have mercy on meeee sixty niiinneeee" !!!!!

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ahh haa haa! speaking of crack-me up.... and I don't mean in a pipe! And now a word from our sponsors... how about a pain reliever commercial? My head hurts..

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Hiya Members,

 

As the Bingo Ball Turns is back! The storyline will be played out right here in this section. There will be a slight difference this time. To add more fun to the soap opera antics we will be including members names as characters. Please feel free to add to the story especially if your name is included. Please remember it is all in good fun and never the intention to offend a member when using their name as a particular character! This is pure fiction!

 

As you all may be wondering....what ever happened to Lance and Lola? Well to make a long story short.....Lola and Lance got hitched. Turns out that Lola caught Lance with another woman, thats the bad news! The good news is he was LOADED and smart thinking Lola refused to sign a prenuptial agreement!

 

Lola now rich, travels to Georgia to see her half sister........

 

My chauffeur Jacob Black pulls up to my sisters house. It is a very large plantation that has been in the family for 200 years. My step mother now gone....left everything to my sister leaving me penniless! Needless to say there is some sibling rivalry between us. She is the very straight and reserved sister and i am well lets just say....i like to live on the edge! I can hardly wait to see her as i step out of the Rolls Royce with my designer Jimmy Choos handbag and matching shoes.

 

As i approach the door i hear some laughter coming from the garden. I walk around to the back and there i see........Imagin, Wnanhee Blue, Helwin and Mommy machine having a afternoon Bingo tea party. Oh brother i think to myself.......where is the vodka lemonade.... 

 

 

 

 

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I hear the car pull up outside.  I know my half sisiter Lola has arrived.

 

I try to venture a smile as I welcome her home for the first time in many years.

 

"Welcome Home Lola."  We hug eachother but it is just formality. Neither one of us mean it all that much.

 

My name is Dorthy, and I am Lola's half sister. 

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Hi Dorthy, nice to see you....it's been a long long time....your just as lovely as you use to be! Gritting my teeth i promise myself to try and behave. As she leads me towards her garden party i see the gardener! He is smoking hot with no shirt on, tanned body and riding the tractor. I look over at him and give him a wink!

 

Dorthy introduces me to all her lady friends whom she met at 123 Bingo years ago......

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I cant seem to be happy that my half sister has come to visit. It was always such a Rival between us.  She was always Daddy's favorite, and I never understood why. 

 

Now I myself got good grades, Graduated college, never was in any trouble, and carried our familys name with pride.  Lola on the other hand was always off seeing what trouble she could find, and find she did.

 

Oh the trouble that girl could get herself into. 

 

She hasnt been here but ten minutes, and I see her eyeing up my gardener.  Oh , why did I agree to this visit.  I wonder how long she is going to be here.

 

I'm not a drinker of alcohol, but I think I will need to start today with Lola being here.

 

 

"Let me introduce you to my friends Lola." I say, but wished I hadn't.

 

 

Do you wish a drink?  Yes, of course you do, after your long ride here. (she ALWAYS has a drink in her hands)

 

 

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This is the fifth time Blue got the bingo in a row and every time, I just needed one more number...

About to start a new round and I hear the car pull up the drive way.

'Oh, my~ my~!!! 'Would you look at this car?'  :o And the driver who looks like a pimp from the hood, behind this woman who dressed like if she was a lady gaga, certainly is not from around here...hmmm this must be that famous Lola who Dorthy has been telling us. Wonder where she got those bag and  shoes...those would look fantabulous on ME!'

Pinching Imagin who is too busy looking at her Bingo board and now looking right at me with those teary eyes with her mouth opened- :o-

"What?"

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"Ladies?"  This is Lola, my sister.  "Lola? These are my dear friends. Imagin, Wnanhee Blue, Helwin and Mommy machine."

 

Drake, my butler of many years brings us all fresh drinks, and we settle in around the table.  I see my friends all looking at Lola like they have never seen anyone dress like this.  Lola has that effect on people, always has.

 

I start to try to relax, and then Lola puts her drink to her lips, and downs the entire thing all at once.  She quickly summons Drake back over, and with that smile that melts men, asked him to bring her another. 

 

 

You could of heard a pin drop.  The silence was deafening.  I look around the table at my friends and try to smile.  Lola is completely unaware that my friends are both in awe of her, and yet slightly taken back.

 

 

 

 

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......before Drake returns with the drinks, i put another notch in my lipstick case and apply siren red to my lips. Drake returns with a tray of tea cups, a tea pot and one vodka lemonade.

 

As he hands me my drink i give him the look of lust and desire. I extend my hand as i introduce myself. As he kisses my hand i ask him......"is that a dauber in your pocket or you just happy to see me"? Imagin the wilder one of the group begins to giggle, but quickly stops as she gets the stern look from the other ladies....

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I know I shouldnt ask, yet the question leaves my lips before I can stop myself.

 

"How long will you be staying?"  I ask

 

Lola, turns her glance away from Drake, and slowly lowers her drink.  Her look is one of suspicion and attitude.  Ohhh, I have done it now. 

 

Although my question is how long she will be staying, the real question in my mind is WHY she came at all.  We dont exactly keep in touch as we should, and when she called last week to say she was coming for a visit, I was quite suspicious.

 

Imagin, Wnanhee Blue, Helwin and Mommy machine are all enjoying this moment of tense conversation between Lola and myself.  I hear Imagin. giggle, and Blue is suddenly very busy studying her Bingo cards, as to keep her head down to hide a grin.

 

Lola looks at me for a long time, before she answers.......

 

 

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I light a cigarette, throw my head back as i blow out the smoke...and say....

 

"Well Dorky....oops sooooo sorry.......Dorthy forgive my slip of the tongue"! Til the end of summer, how could i miss these summer afternoon garden parties! Just then mommy machine gasped as i announce an old friend of mine will be arriving soon.....

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    Old friends? Nothing left for one's imagination, as Betty White shimmied her way over, from, not sure where, with not quite erect and half lit cigarette drooping from her rhinestone studded cigarette holder. Aloof as she was, she was a real classy dame. Little did Dorthy know, even though she kept smelling a rat, Lola was actually a snake so tightly coiled and ready to strike... everyone's lives were soon to be changed....   

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As I'm stooping over my bingo card to hide my grin, I'm amazed that Dorothy suffers Lola as she does.  I now can understand exactly what Dorothy meant when she said she wasn't looking forward to Lola coming to stay. 

 

As Lola calls Dorothy "dorky", I take a deep breath and bite my tongue, I don't want to start any trouble. I do like Lola's shoes though, they would look really great on me - shame her feet are so huge.

 

Oh my - who is the bird with that awesome cigarette holder...I want one.

 

I can see Nan and Imagin looking at it too.  I'm getting really uncomfortable with the silence so I ask the gals "Are we going to continue playing ladies?"...

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I broke away from my deep amorous stare of the gardener on his tractor.. my bingo cards have been duds lately, and he was better to view then a buncha 1 tgs... realizing bingo and handsome men are just my thang..

 

I see Lola and over hear conversations.. and think to myself.. "oh lawdy.. someone hide the lemonade and vodka and break out the prune juice.." then i giggle to myself..

 

Nice to meet you Lola.. *i smile slyly and notice we have something in common* she looks my way.. and her eyes fall upon my Johnny Depp Pirate dauber.. i slowly pick it up and dantilly daub a bingo number.. "ooh another 1tg"

 

I think im gon' need a Drake.. er.. Gardener.. i mean DRINK...

 

 

 

 

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'Oh, brother! I can not bear this any more!!!' screaming inside my head.

Seeing Imagin drooling all over my man,Drake is one thing but now I have to put up with this Lola, the new comer shoving and dumping her entire body at him...

No one knows that I and Drake snicked inside the parlor earlier after telling my friends that I was getting some water, and we had a delicious lunch together.

Now I am tormented between want to keep this as a secret and want to shout at everyone that he is mine...oh,boy what to do,what to do...

Struggling with deep in thought, without realizing what I am doing, unconsciously I snatched the drink from Lola's hand and gulped it down all at once. My God, I must going insane!!! Gave her that fake sorry face and trying hard to play the Bingo but can't concentrate, ahaaaaaaaaa.....

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Betty White decides to be the bingo caller and doesn't realize the commotion going on among all the ladies. After Wnanhee gulps my drink down, i realize we have a live wire in the crowd!

 

Just then Jacob enters the garden party as asks me where i want my luggage. Of course his cell phone rings and he doesn't hear a word i say! Sweet talkin his lady who just passed a kidney stone too who happens to be jakomans sister, he stops dead in his tracks as he becomes awe struck by Wnanhee's beauty.

 

Dorthy sees the number of bags i have and know its going to be a very longggggg stay. Trying to calm down Dorthy, Blue offers her a cream tea. I offer to go get the cream tea in the house. Once inside i spike the cream tea with pure grain alcohol....

 

 

 

 

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From the moment I met Lola, as we were just two young girls, I knew she was trouble.  Trouble seemed to find her, and she enjoyed looking for it.  She embraced it.

 

Oh the stories I could tell you about Lola.   ;)  There was once a time, as luck would have it, a boy showed interest in me.  He didn't seem the least bit interested in Lola, which seemed odd.  Allllll the boys wanted Lola, yet this young man showed interest only in me.  Lola was furious. She tried everything to get this boy away from me.  She would wear clothing that was revealing, as I wore more appropriate clothing for a girl my age.  She would flirt with him, and whisper in his ear. I dont know what was said, but it would always make him blush. Still, he resisited, and continued to show interest in only me.

 

 

 

Well one day he was at our home. We were enjoying a lovely picnic lunch down by the river, when I suddenly saw my Father come charging out towards us.  He accused my bo of stealing silver out of the house. I was so taken back.  He ordered my boyfriend off the plantation, and told him never to return or he would get the law involved.  Needless to say, I never saw my little boyfriend again on the plantation, and when I saw him at school, he would turn the other way and run.

 

 

One day, about a week later, while Lola was out with a boy, I snuck in her room.   I scoured that room looking for that silver. I just knew Lola was behind this. Sure enough, I found the Silver in between her mattresses.  She took the silver , hid it, and told our Daddy that she saw my boyfriend take it.  I was furious.

 

When I went to our Father about what I had found, instead of being angry at Lola, he chastised me for snooping in Lolas room.  He would hear no more about it.

 

 

 

So here I am, with Lola suddenly back in my life.  I have no idea why or what she is going to pull next.

 

If I told my friends what I knew about Lola, they would likely not believe me anyways.

 

 

I wonder what Lola is up to, I wonder why she has come to visit.

 

I am about to rejoin the Bingo Party when we are called to prepare for dinner.  

 

Suddenly:

 

Lola announces she has a big surprise for after dinner.

 

Gosh, I can't wait. lol

 

 

 

 

 

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I immediately recognize the ol' "grab n gulp" routine... looking with a slight side pose, lips slightly perched..and one eye brow hinched @ wnanhee.. i think to myself.. ooooo somebodies been messin around...

 

Hmm... that lighter looked very familiar.. i'll figure it out...

 

Meantime i've been enjoying the stories.. but knows theres more too it..

 

 

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I never knew Nan had it in her to drink booze like that.  She told me she never drinks or was that Dorothy.  Hmm.

 

Lola walks back from the house with a plate in her hand with the most awesome looking cream tea...all that lovely cream looks so delicious.  I hope Dorothy enjoys it. 

 

Dorothy grabs the scone with jam and cream and begins to eat it and the more she eats the more she seems to be enjoying it.  As she puts the last drop of cream in her mouth, she starts to say something ...I can't quite hear what she is saying....her words are a bit slurred  Lola is point at Dorothy and laughing at the same time.

 

What the hell is going on.

 

 

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Dorthy.. what's the matter.. i begin to giggle.. the funny faces she was making reminded me of the ol' lucy show.. "vitaveggieminvermafin".. it would be nice to see Lolas nose on fire, as i thought to myself..

 

 

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I drink my cream tea, and enjoy every bit of it.  It tasted different to me though. 

 

Suddenly I see Lola laughing and pointing at me. She has done it again. I just drank a spiked cream tea.  Why oh why does she do these things to me.

 

I feel like telling Lola a piece of my mind.  I try to get Lola's attention but she is in deep conversation with Blue, and now Blue is giggling at me too.

 

I realize dinner is going to be a disaster, and I think I'll be the first one to make it so.

 

Suddenly, the gardener shows up, and announces he was invited to dinner by none other than Lola.

 

I can't believe it.  :-\

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I was happy to hear the good news he was going to be joining us, how interesting this dinner is going to be... i immediately thought to myself.. goodness someone better hide the exlax.. okay hide the rat poison, Dorthy has the look i havn't seen in years, the last time i seen it her like this...her snowplow was full of peanut butter.. and the neighbor susie was running around outside screaming, with locks of hair in her between her fingers.. Oh my hair, what did you do to my hair??!?? (she was bald) to this day i do not know what Dorthy did.. but i'd like to find out..

 

Who invites Gardeners to Bingo Dinner parties.. well Lola does.. and i kinda like it.. Looks like we are having my favorite dish.. the weather is perfect.. cool & mild.. fullmoonish evening.. with a chance of homicide..

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Oh no, I think Dorothy thinks I'm laughing at her...but I'm not.  I smile weakly at her. 

 

I'm gobsmacked the gardener is coming to dinner but I'm not complaining. What a hottie he is.  Imagin's eyes have lit up for the first time today...omg so have Nan's.  I think everyone has the hots for this guy.

 

I look at Dorothy and ask her if she is ok.  She looks like she want's to tell me something but then her eyes look at Lola and she stops herself.  I wonder what she was going to say.   I can't wait for the meal - I think there will be fireworks.

 

I got up and walked over to Dorothy who seemed to be a little drunk.  I'm curious how this can be.  "Did you enjoy the cream tea?" I asked.

 

"F....fff......ffff....." OMG what is she going to say. "FFF FFfff ffff"  "Fine" she says.

 

Are you ok Dorothy I asked.  She shakes her head and looks at Lola with anger in her eyes.

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