Bingo Jokes!!!!!!!!!

A man goes to the doctor. The doc checks him over, and says "Sorry mate, but you have yellow 24, a nasty virus, so-called as it turns your blood yellow and you only have 24 hours to live. There's nothing I can do for you - just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth."

So back he trudges home to wifey, and breaks the news. Distraught, she asks him to accompany her to bingo that evening so he can experience her idea of a night out, as he's never been there before.

He gets his 1st card, and wins 4 corners - prize £350, and then gets any line and wins £3200. He also calls for a full house - and wins a grand. The national grid comes up and he wins a further £380,000.

The Bingo Caller gets him on stage, and says "Son - I've never seen you in here in all my life, but you won 4 corners, any line, full house & the national grid - I've never met anyone so lucky."

"Lucky??" the man replies, "lucky? I'll have you know I've got yellow 24."

"Dear me," says the bingo caller with a chuckle, "you've won the bloody raffle as well!”

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

LMAO!!!  LOL  LOL

Thank You Lips!

:D brilliant.

blue

The concession stand at a local bingo hall was trying to increase business so it started offering its own pull tab for people who bought their large cup of coffee. Prizes on the pull tab were for free food and small prizes at the food counter.

A blonde gets her pull tab, peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!" The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free lunch."

But the blonde keeps screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!"

Finally the concession stand owner comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as a prize!"

The blonde says, "No it's not a mistake. I've won a motor home!" She hands the ticket to the manager and he reads...

"W I N A B A G E L"

:P :P :P

Lips

LOL Where do you find these?

WINABAGEL LMAO

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

BINGO GALS TALK CASINO HUBBIES

Two longtime friends liked to play bingo every Friday night and discuss their husbands who also liked to gamble.

“My husband’s going to a casino in central Asia,” says one elderly Bingo player to another.

“Tibet?”

“Of course,” the old woman says, quite annoyed. “Why else would he go to a casino?”

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Joe the bingo caller fancied one of the pretty ladies who came to play bingo every week. Getting the courage, he asked her out on a date and eventually married her.

Carl who sold scratch cards during bingo was a bit surprised and remarked to Joe, "You are such a big, brawny guy. Why one earth did you marry such a tiny, petite woman?

She is no bigger than your hand." "That's right, Carl," replied the bingo caller. "But she strokes that jumbo dabber much better!"

A woman goes to bingo and brings her pet duck for luck.

The duck curious, walks up to the bingo stand that sells dabbers, bingo bags and good luck trinkets and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bingo worker confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day the women returns to bingo hall with the duck, the duck returns to bingo stand and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bingo worker, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns with bingo player and again goes to bingo stand and asks, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bingo worker tells him, "No -- this bingo stand does not sell grapes, has never sold grapes and, furthermore, will never sell grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bingo worker yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bingo stand! We do not sell grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bingo stand!"

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"

Confused, the bingo worker says no.

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

  LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

He he he!

Sometimes........i have to admit i have thought of doing this every same thing at bingo!

I just got fired from my bingo job..........

After calling "A meal for two and a terrible view"

Apparently my manager didn't like how i described B69!

Marge, the  bingo caller isn’t feeling well, there is a strange tingling and pain in her hands. She leaves work early to go for a complete checkup, comes back from the doctor and says to her husband:

- Honey, I have good news and bad news – good news is I can go back to calling bingo balls tomorrow, bad news is doc said strictly no other physical activity with my hands for three weeks...

Husband:

- And what the dentist say?

My grandpa has the heart of the winner, but earned a lifetime ban at bingo for being a loser!

Now that is a crappy conversation........

A man goes to bingo and ends up losing the shirt off his back after buying too many cards and playing Slots at intermission. He was so broke he couldn't afford a cab ride home. So he went out to the front of the bingo hall where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie.

He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address but the driver wouldn't budge. The cabbie snapped, “If you don’t have $10, get the hell out of my cab loser!” So the man was forced to hitch-hike home.

.

A couple weeks later the man, returned to the bingo hall and this time he won a huge progressive Jackpot. He went outside to get a cab ride home when who should he see at the end of a long line of cabs, the guy that threw him out of his cab.

The man got in the first cab in the line, “How much for a ride to the airport,” he asked? "$15,” came the reply. “And will you include a sexual favor on the way?” “What?!!! Get the hell out of my cab.”

He got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to the old cabbie guy that kicked him out two weeks ago he got in and asked “How much for a ride to the airport?” The cabbie replied “$15.”

The man said “ok” and off they went. As they drove slowly past the long line of cabs he rolled his window down, gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver!